Another Questions Answered By The PRP

In case you're wondering what the phrase "hell on earth" means, I'd like to clarify. H.O.E is travelling to the McNary Wildlife Refuge with 60 first graders on an unairconditioned school bus and then spending the next FIVE freaking hours in the direct sun on a 95 degree day learning about midges and nymphs.

A Memorable Memorial Day Weekend

I have a fear. A true phobia. Something completely irrational and silly to some, but a truly, deep, scary, scary, fear.

Many of you know this story but for those of you who don't, I'll fill you in. Ever since I had my first child, I have had a fear of bridges. Not of heights, but of bridges. And not bridges over land. Just bridges over water.

At some point in Spence's early life, I found myself driving over a bridge and the thought occurred to me that if I were to somehow go OVER the bridge, how would I save young Spence? Me in the front seat, him in the back, strapped into his five point harness. How would I be able to get myself unbuckled, climb into the back, unbuckle him, break out the windows and swim safely to the top of the water?

FREAKS ME OUT.

This problem has only gotten worse as I have had more kids because now I am seriously hosed. Not only do I have to save one child, but three children, as well as myself. It's more than my little brain can handle so I try really hard not to think about it. Except that I do. EVERY SINGLE TIME I GO OVER A BRIDGE.

This past Saturday finds my family out on the river jet-skiing and boating with the Wrights. Brad was on the jet-ski and I was in the boat with all of my children and the Wrights when the boat broke down and we were stranded. After poor Roger tried everything he could to fix the boat to no avail, we found ourselves needing to drift to the boat launch in Kennewick where Brad, Samantha, Spence and Hannah would be waiting. They all left on the jet-ski and I stayed on board with Roger, Quentin and Sienna. When we finally made it to the boat launch, Brad and Sam tell us the horrifying story of their trip from Pasco to Kennewick. As Brad was heading over the blue bridge, pulling the jet-ski and with two of my three children inside, the accellerator on the van malfunctioned and got stuck in the full speed ahead position. Panicking, Brad slammed on the brakes which did absolutely nothing and then threw the gear into neutral, where he coasted off of the bridge and pulled to the side of the road.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT????? LITERALLY, MY WORST FEAR ALMOST CAME TRUE.

I started shaking listening to Brad tell us what happened and I kept thinking "would I have known what to do?" I know that his quick thinking saved all of their lives and I'm so, so grateful that he was behind the wheel instead of me.

Poor Brad has had two scary dreams about it since and I can't help my mind from going through all of the what-ifs. So, so scary.

The van is now at Lithia and we're waiting word on what went wrong. I'll let you know and tell you everything I've learned in case it ever happens to you.

Niner, Niner, We're In Hot Pursuit of Loudmouth

Have you ever, all of a sudden, become aware of a horrible trait you have?


I have.


Last night at card group, I realized something horrible about myself. An awful trait. Annoying as all get out. Embarrassing and ridiculous.


I am an interrupter. A story stealer. A limelight hog.


I know that I love to talk. And I know that I am often the one blabbing away for all to hear. But I didn't really realize that I actually tell other people's stories for them, even when they are sitting right there, perfectly capable of telling the story themself. And this is one of the many reasons why I am a loser.


Seriously, can you think of anything more annoying? So you have a completely hilarious story to tell when all of a sudden the PRP pipes up and tells your tale before you even have a chance to. I might as well be going around telling the world various punchlines before the joke even has the chance to be heard.


So now that I am aware of this trait, I am going to do everything in my power to shut the freak up. This may seem impossible but I am going to give it my all. I felt so bad for all the stories I stole last night and for those of you that were here, I won't blame you a bit if you come a TP my house. Or Saran Wrap my toilets. I completely deserve it.

Rest assured, this thief is finding a new way to make ends meet. I'm retiring from my life of crookery and finding an honorable way to spend my time. With my mouth shut.

More & More Of Me, Again

Okay. Here we go. Move 'em all up, take off the first, add yours to the bottom.


1) Doggy Mama

2) Eve

3) Melissa

4) 4 B's In A Pod

5) Life According to the PRP



Then tag five new.



I'm officially tagging:



Life At The Chicken Coop

Dandee

The Days of My Life

Gourley Gang

Brooklet




What were you doing ten years ago?

I was getting ready for my upcoming wedding in September and juggling subbing in Selah and managing a coffee house off campus. We were hunting for a place to live and so, so excited about everything to come.


What were you doing one year ago?

I was anxiously counting down the days until summer break because I love having my husband home for three months (which is incidentally exactly what I'm doing right now!)



Five Snacks You Enjoy:

Chips & Salsa

M&Ms

Pub Mix from Costco

Cucumbers & Hummus

Sweet & Salty Bars



Five Songs You Know All The Words To:

Seriously? How about anything Michael Buble, Sting, Sarah McClachlan, Dixie Chicks or anything heard on the radio over the last 32 years.



Five Things You Would Do If You Were A Millionaire:

Pay of our house and those of our families

Have Brad quit teaching at CBC

Visit a new country each summer

Set money aside for college for the kids

Spoil my friends

(I know all that would add up to a lot more than a million bucks, but play along anyway!)



Five Bad Habits:

Drinking diet soda

Having little to no patience

Getting frustrated with my kids when they're just being kids

Concentraing on the house more than the kids in the house

Not taking enough time for myself



Five Things You Like Doing:

Cooking for people

Decorating

Organizing

Entertaining

Scrapbooking/Card Making


Five Things You Would Never Wear Again:

Jelly shoes

Feathered Hair

Keds

Rubber Bracelets

A bikini



Five Favorite Toys:

The jet-ski

The Archos

The pool

The tramp

The computer

Gluttoney, Johnson Style

On Thursday, Brad and Sienna left for Seattle because Brad had another conference to attend and my mom knew that a little Sienna break would benefit both of us. That left me alone with Hannah and Spence for the weekend and we had a blast.

On Friday, after dropping Spence off at school, Hannah and I went shopping for some new summer clothes for her since she is growing out of everything at an alraming rate. At 4 1/2 years old, she is wearing a 7 in tops and at least a 6 in bottoms and since I'm not a real fan of the belly-bearing Britney look on my little munchkin, we needed new digs. We found some great stuff and then we headed to the "toenail store" for pedicures. I know she's a little early for this stuff but we had SO MUCH FUN. Annie at Hot Spa Nails hooked Hannah up with her very own chair where she got to soak her feet which she loved. We sat side-by-side and talked about all kinds of stuff.

"Do you think Shrek and Fiona are going to have babies?"

"On my next birthday, when I turn 5, I'm going to go to Chuck E Cheeses and eat cotton candy with a princess ballerina birthday cake."

"When I go to kindergarten, will you call it Spence and Hannah's school or will it still just be Spencer's school?"

I LOVED it. Something about it made me promise myself that I will always make a point to do this with my girls.

We left there with the cutest feet ever, (french for me, pink with flowers for Hannah) hit a few furniture shops (seriously! the shopping!!!) and came home for awhile before picking Spence up from school. Later that night, we hooked up with the Lee's for some Mickey D's and Shrek at the new theater. The kids laughed and laughed and I loved that they were being so thoroughly spoiled for a change. I feel like I've been rushing them so much lately in their little lives and I loved following their time schedule for a change and doing exactly what they wanted when they wanted to do it. It probably goes against every parenting book out there but we had so much fun and I felt so close to my kids throughout it all. We wrapped up the night with a Kendall/Michael sleepover (which for my kids is equivalent to a trip to Disneyland) where we stayed up late, ate too much candy, and had a blast.

Even though it was all a bit excessive, it really helped me to reconnect with my kids after all the craziness of the past few weeks and I loved every minute of it. I've lately become increasingly aware of just how fast their little lives are flying by and I don't want to miss a thing.

And my feet are adorable.

Shop Til You Drop, Or Not

What is it about moving that brings on the overwhelming sense to go shopping???

Shouldn't the new house be enough????

Shouldn't I just be thrilled to have what I have????

I mean, I AM.

But I still want to shop.

For furniture for my den which currently looks like the before shot on Trading Spaces.

For a bedroom set to fill out my new bedroom.

For a couch.

For new curtains for the living room.

For all kinds of organizational doo-dads for the den.

For this, that and the other.

I really am in complete heaven in my new home and I know it will all come in time. I just want the time to be NOW. Another lesson in patience still not learned.

(And yes, Heather, you can invite yourself over anytime!)

Ask Her If She Knows Wayne Newton

I'll start with prom since I've left you all hanging long enough.


I'm not posting a picture because, well, they're heinous, so you'll just have to imagine Brad and I in all our finery. (We didn't look half bad in person but the picture is NO GOOD.)


Although we were completely exhausted after laying tile for 12+ hours, we did have a really good time. Even Brad, who, in his usual all-things-high-school-are-lame attitude, had fun seeing all of his students decked out and trying to act like adults. We were supposed to work the dance area but we spent most of our time in the front reception so we could see every kid walk through the door. SO FASCINATING.


There seems to be two schools of thought for high schoolers picking out their prom clothes:

1) I want to look like I'm ready for anything, with anyone, at anytime

OR

2) I'm mormon

It was hilarious, in a slightly sickening, oh-no-you-di'nt sort of way. Some of the girls were beautiful. Classy, elegant, understated and down-right gorgeous. The other girls, well...they didn't leave much to the imagination and once again, I found myself being so thankful to be a woman because to watch Brad try to converse with a student whose mile-long cleavage was screaming for attention was horrifying. Painful. Awful.

I definitely felt my age that night because I really was that woman in the corner saying "didn't her father see her when she left the house?" to the other chaperones which is something I never thought I'd do. I truly could not comprehend how some of these girls made it out of their houses dressed like down-on-their-luck Vegas showgirls, but I know it's because most of them don't have parents who give a damn and that's even more horrifying.

Then there was the music. A non-stop, continuous flow of noise that doesn't have a beginning or end and sounds all the same. Brad and I danced a few times with the kids we know and then gave up because it was just too bizzare. And they don't dance in couples anymore...they all jam together in one huge gyrating crowd which was a little spooky because you couldn't see what was going on in the center of that crowd. Not so good for the chaperones, which is exactly why they do it I'm sure.

We had a good time and it was great to see all the kids we've gotten to know through school and church but I'm definitly glad not to be in high school anymore. It would be difficult trying to squeeze this post baby bod into a dress designed by a skank.

Thank Goodness I Didn't Have To Be A Pioneer

Eight whole days without a computer but I'm finally back in black.

I'm so excited.

I have so much reading to do.

I've missed you all so much.

Lots to write, lots to tell. I'll get crackin' as soon as I have the energy to hold myself upright for more than 12 seconds.

Love Of A Lifetime, Class of 2007

What to do, what to do.

Let's see....

I could:

-finish packing for the imminent move (nah)
-clean this house so that it once again resembles an inhabitable place (whatever)
-paint Sienna's bed (like she'll know the difference)
-throw out the tremendous amount of garbage in the garage (can't the new people do that?)
-mow the lawn one last time (not in the mood)
-weed the flowerbeds (the people buying this house our friends of ours afterall)
-or any of the other 22 gazillion things that I need to do before we move, which is in about 12 minutes.

WAIT! I KNOW WHAT I CAN DO!!!!

Go shopping for a prom dress!

Yep, you heard me right. Bizradicus and I are chaperoning on Saturday night and can I tell you how much I LOVE GOING BACK TO PROM??? It's so weird but even as a ahem, 32-year-old, I still get excited for one of the most torcherous high school events of all time.

And it doesn't just happen to me because get this; Brad was in meetings all day yesterday and he called me at about 4:30 and said "I know this is strange, but Deidre (another teacher) and Charlotte (the vice principal!) want to know what you're wearing to prom." Seriously? I LOVE IT.

So it got me thinking and since I've already packed all my nice stuff (ie church clothes) I decided that I would have to go and buy something new. After dropping three of the five off at their respective schools, I took the other two to find me some new digs.

WHICH I DID! A dress, in a smaller size than I expected (BONUS!!!!) that actually looks quite cute on me. It's not fancy, not really prom-like at all, but I am supposed to be a grown-up. I've already got great shoes to match but I'm sure I'll be scrounging around for some jewlery. And do I have time for a mani/pedi? Sometime in between laying a tile floor, moving, going to Spencer's piano recital and prom? I'll let you know.

Even better than all of this is that on the way home, new dress in hand and singing at the top of my lungs to Me & Mrs. Jones, the thought actually crossed my mind that I needed to check and see if Brad had a tie to coordinate with me. 'Cause we totally get prom pictures. For free. Awkward posing included.

Oh. And I totally hope my corsage matches my dress.

I'm so nervous.

What if he tries to kiss me?

Do I let him get to second base?

Oops, wrong prom.

But just as much fun.

Too Bad Brad Is Basically Perfect

Can't write at the moment.

Busy swooning.

Over my SECOND favorite man.

The new CD is completely perfect.

And the album art ain't bad either.