All I Want For Christmas Is A Padded Room

Day one of Christmas Break and the kids and I are off to a booming start.

*We've already baked sugar cookies which are cooling nicely on racks.

*The gingerbread is just about to go in the oven and smells heavenly.

*All the materials are laid out so the kids and I can make booties for the reindeer's hooves.

*Brad is out finishing up last minute details, after finishing the laundry and delivering the plates of homemade goodies to our friends.

Uh, not so much.

What's really going on is this:

*Hannah is back in her room, where she has been since breakfast for displaying behavior that quite frankly is not of this world.

*Sienna is busy not taking a nap and trying on all of the clothes in her room, which she has dumped out of all of her drawers.

*I, having eaten a Cordial Cherry and plain noodles today, am still in my pajamas at 1:10 pm.

*And Brad, well, he's up at Schweitzer Mountain skiing in perfection conditions with

10" of new snow.

Merry Christmas!

(And another thing...how come when you write a blog with spaces between everything Blogger publishes it with no spaces at all and you can't fix it no matter what? Seriously!)

Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday Kelly!

Since I just bragged about you last week, I won't do it again, but I hope you

have a glorious day and get to spend it doing all the things you like with all of those you love.

Unfortunately, if you ask her son, she's only one step closer to death.

Love you!

(You too Danyelle! Have a fabulous day!)

Free Dog to Good Home...Actually, Any Home Will Do

I woke up nice and early this morning to get ready for the long day ahead. I am currently watching four extra children and I knew that I would need to be prepared to make the most of the crazy day to come. After showering and getting ready, I headed downstairs at 7 to make breakfast for the crew, one of which is sleeping at my house for a few days.

By 8:30 I realized I still had not had any breakfast and was suddenly starving. I remembered the homemade zucchini bread in the pantry and got very excited at the idea of a few toasty slices. After carefully cutting the bread and toasting it to perfection, I left it on the counter to tend to one of the seven children.

Um, yeah.

When I returned, not only were my lovely slices gone by way of my beastly dog, so was the ENTIRE LOAF. You've never seen someone get so upset by the loss of carbs as I! Completely frustrated, I stomped hungrily out of the house to load all the children into the car and take Hannah to preschool.

Fast forward a few hours later to when my lovely VT's stopped by for a quick visit. We had a nice little chat about the chaos that is currently my life and as they left, they handed me a bag of goodies. Inside was a lovely loaf of some kind of bread that smelled divine. Happy to be able to make up for this morning incident, I carefully unwrapped the bread and sliced away.

At that exact moment, one of the kids screamed bloody murder and I went running. After comforting said child for about 20 minutes (they had fallen hard on the tile) I returned to the kitchen to find the SECOND loaf of bread eaten by my dog.

Seriously.

So, if you any of you would like to put an overweight, lazy chocolate lab under your tree, give me a call.

My Friend Jiminey

On Friday night, to kick off our fun filled weekend in Seattle, Brad and I met up with our good friends Kelly and Connor. Kelly is my oldest friend, having known her now for 29 years and she is perfection. I adore everything about her and we always have the best time together and Friday was no exception.

We decided to have dinner at The Cheesecake Factory because I LOVE IT SO and because they had never been there before. I know, blaspheme!

We waited the whole hour and a half with Connor constantly chiding me about how good the food better be and luckily, they delivered. I made us order the Avocado Eggrolls because they are DIVINE and while the rest of us ate them up, Connor remained skeptical. Kelly made him try a bite with the delicious Tamarind Sauce on top and let me tell you, the man was transformed. He and Brad were soon dipping EVERYTHING in the sauce, from nachos to bread, and we sat and ate, talking happily, laughing constantly and enjoying every minute. I love that I have them in my life!

Fun Facts about Me and Kel:

*I met her when I was three and we became the best of friends almost instantly
*I was her maid of honor at 17 (she's MUCH older than me)

*We love the word "mingle!"
*Her memory is FIERCE and she literally knows everything I've done, said and worn for the past 29 years
*Her feet are the craziest looking things on the planet
*She has no sense of smell and was even studied by the docs at U-Dub to figure it out, which they never did
*She never says a mean thing about anything or anyone and that fact alone knocks my socks off
*We once made up a song about a cricket (sorry, I can't go into further detail. It's too embarrassing, even for us)
*She is a fabulous mommy and has two of the most grounded, confident and loving children I've ever met
*Her husband is a rock star and suits her perfectly
*She is my oldest friend and I love that I will have the privelege of knowing her my whole life (well, almost)

Thanks for Friday night, guys. We had a blast and love you both dearly!

Look What Those Crazy Canadians Will Do

This past Sunday my mom, realizing it had been several days since she picked up her mail, headed out to the mailbox to retrieve her post. Among the bills and usual fliers that fill up her box was a Christmas card from her Uncle Harm. Not having heard from Uncle Harm in quite some time, my mom hurried inside to read his letter.

Inside she found a lovely Christmas card and a check. A check for $1000.00. Completely shocked, she called her cousin Fred who speaks to Harm regularly and asked what was going on.

Fred explained that Harm realized he was getting on in years (although he still claims to be 88 years young!) and that he wanted to give some of his money away while he still had a say in where it went. He decided this would be a good time to start and settled on sending all of his siblings children a check for $1000.00 each. Isn't that wonderful?

The idea would be daunting to some, to just give away money so freely, but what makes the story SO MUCH BETTER is that Harm is one of 17 children. And his siblings have 64 children among them, meaning that sweet Uncle Harm gave away a whopping $64,000 this Christmas. And I know he loved every minute of it.

Isn't that the best story ever? And doesn't it make you want to be as rich as Uncle Harm so you could do it too? I think this is the best example of what Christmas is about that I've seen this season.

Thanks for the reminder, Uncle Harm.

An Accurate Christmas List

If only I'd written this myself!

Enjoy...

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years. Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes, Mommy' to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat in the living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,

MOM...

Great News

I love me a little SCHOOL CANCELLATION!

I know for lots of people it means scrambling for daycare and kids locked inside all day, bored out of their minds, but for me it means a day home with my hubby and kids and I LOVE IT.

I hope you and yours find something fantastic to do on this lovely day off.

Kicking Laziness To The Curb, Or At Least Trying

You know those days when you wake up and feel ready to conquer the million things you have to do? But then you get sidetracked, by say, some meaningless TV show, and an hour and a half later you realize you've accomplished absolutely nothing?

That'd be me today.

I thought maybe if I made a list and had to be accountable, I'd get my ever-growing tush in gear.

*Finish laundry

*Sweep/Mop kitchen floor

*Finalize Mutual stuff

*Finish Christmas cards

*Pack for weekend getaway

*Vacuum

*Make a dinner that doesn't come from a box

*Clean bathrooms

*Put guest room together again (thanks kids!)

*Buy hairspray

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Me Encanta

Yeah, it didn't work.

When I picked her up from school, Ms. Stacia was carrying her to the car (unaware of my intentions) and Hannah was happy as a lark. I think next time I'll be more prepared and buy some of the most hideous slippers on the planet and make her wear them instead. Maybe that will do it.

In other news, I discovered something truly evil yesterday. And I was running around in the morning before school with two extra kids in tow, I neglected to eat breakfast. So after I dropped everyone off at school, and knowing I had errands to run, I decided to pick something up to eat. I initially went to Starbucks to get a toasted bagel but the line there was literally a thousand cars long, so I hopped over the McDonald's.

Now, those of you who know me know I am not a breakfast food kind of gal. I would rather have leftover lasagna for breakfast than eggs and toast, so this always poses a problem for me. I do, however, enjoy a Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit from Mickey D's the two times a year I have one. So that's what I ordered but as I pulled away and unwrapped my food, I discovered a Sausage McMuffin instead. Because I was starving, I dug right in.

Um, yum.

It was so tasty! There was something about the combo of processed cheese, processed sausage and processed egg that hit the spot and I am currently eating another one this morning. I know this has to stop but since I'm allowed two a year, I figured I'd just have them back to back. And I'm subbing for Brad today so I really didn't have time to eat breakfast.

I'll tell you what....I'm lovin' it.

Today I Am A Good Mommy Because....

...I sent Hannah to school without shoes on because I am sick of her leaving them all over the house and never knowing where they are, especially since each kid has their own cubby for shoes, backpacks and coats.

Do you think it will work?

Or am I really just that mean?

As she skipped into school to show off her stocking feet, I realized my plan may have backfired. More to come....