The Life And Times Of A Frustrated PTO President

So you know that whole thing about me being the PTO pres?

Yeah, not a good idea.

I consider myself, overall, to be a rather optimistic person. The grass is always greener wherever I am, my cup is half full, etc, etc, but my brief time as the PTO pres has led me to believe that there are evil forces working against me and their name usually ends with ___________School District.

Who knew?

I spent most of yesterday (6.25 hours to be exact) working my way through the crazy world that is life within a school district. There are rules and regs at every turn, and just when you think you've made some progress, a new series of rules and regs jumps out and frankly scares the crud out of you.

My goal yesterday was to get T-shirt order forms copied and placed into every teacher's mailbox so they could go out today with the infamous "Wednesday Folder," a concept I believe in wholeheartedly but is one that is making me claw my own eyes out.

The task seemed simple enough but as one would expect, a few obstacles were thrown in my way.

First of all, our school houses the district's Spanish immersion program which is one that I am fascinated with and that two of my four children are currently enrolled in. I find it fantastic but that is neither here nor there. The obstacle it creates is that every flier that comes from our school must go home in English and Spanish as we have a ton of native Spanish speakers in our school. This would not be a difficult task if A) the district would allow us to use it's translation services or B) the district allowed us to us it's print shop services.

Because my grasp of the Spanish language ends with "pollo enchilada," (or is it enchillada a la pollo? See what I mean?) I am not much help in the translation department. Luckily, I am married to the tallest, whitest, Spanish-speaking gringo in the world, so this hasn't been too much of a problem. After several emails back and forth with him, I manage to get my order form translated. Muchos gracias.

Now I am left to copy. The PTO isn't allowed, under section VII, subparagraph II of the "Ways to Make Karen Hate Us Handbook" to make copies at the school. So I march mine and Austin's not-so-little fannies to Kinko's and get copying.

Ready for this?

1 1/2 hours and $173.82 later, I am finished. Apparently, 850 double-sided copies is literally worth it's weight in gold. I even had to pay to have them all cut apart, or else I firmly believe I would still be standing at Kinko's sliding my lime green fliers through the papercutter right. friggin. now.

After I had loaded everything back into the car, I set out for the school where the real fun began because those 850 fliers where arranged into two piles of 425, and I needed them in groups of 30 to go to the teachers. So I stood, with the help of my sweet friend Tracy, and counted to 30 approximately 274 times. Something like that.

And while I did that, my four children ran about the school as if they owned the place and I became THAT MOM. The one who has no control of her offspring and apparently doesn't know how babies get made.

As Tracy and I patiently counted away, a few teachers came through the lounge and remarked that it was a bit late to be getting them fliers if we wanted them in the Wednesday folders.

I quickly shot them the look of death, wiped the sweat from my brow, and carried on.

The good news is that when my two children returned from school today, I checked their folders and lo and behold, they did have a T-shirt order form in them! Hooray! Victory!

If I hadn't spent all my money at Kinko's, I could actually afford to get my kids some shirts too. (Not to worry, reimbursement pending...)

So my question now is, if it was this difficult just to get the order forms OUT, what will it be like when we start getting orders IN?

Family NIght With The Johnsons

(A tale of three kid's perpsectives)

For family night, we decided to take the kids on a hike. Spence has been asking for quite some time and since the weather was perfect, we headed out. Here's how it went:

Spence: "Wow, it sure is pretty outside tonight!"

Hannah: "The sun's in my eyes..."

Spence: "I love how when I run fast, I feel like I'm flying!"

Hannah: "I have a rock in my shoe..."

Spence: "Come on Squish! Race you to the next tree!"

Sienna: "I'm coming big brother!"

Hannah: "I'm too tired to race..."

Spence: "Mom and dad, thanks so much for bringing us hiking!"

Hannah: "Can someone go get the car?"

Spence: "I love it out here! I could spend forever outside!"

Hannah: "Great! Now I have grass on my legs..."

Sienna: "I'm coming big brother!"

Spence: "Should we look for treasure? That would be so fun!"

Hannah: "Are we almost done yet? I'm sooooo tired and I just want to sit down..."

Spence: "Did you see this cool rock I just found? It looks like a moon rock!"

Hannah: "If we don't finish this dumb hike soon, I may starting shoving twigs in my eyeballs..."

Sienna: "I'm coming big brother!"

Spence: "Look at the sun! Isn't it beautiful?"

Hannah: "Can you see the car yet? Can someone please carry me? If I keep whining in this annoying voice will you really leave me here? I'm so bored. I'm so tired."

On and on it went. At least some of us managed to have fun...

Kindergarten Is Exhausting

Last night, while working on a massive project in the den (details to come) I heard the pitter patter of little feet out in the kitchen.  Chairs where being pushed about and someone was muttering angrily to themselves.

I peaked around the corner of the kitchen to find Hannah crouched down by the kitchen table with her panties around her ankles.  

"Hannah, sweetie, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to go to the bathroom but I have too much stuff in my hands!" she replied angrily.

Both hands, completely empty.  

I tried not to giggle as I ushered her into the bathroom, where she stood perplexed for a moment because she could not figure out how to get on the potty with her hands full of so much stuff.  

She finished her business and marched back to bed, all the while cursing the fact the I was making her carry things all about the house.  

I love sleepy babes.  

Best Line Ever

"We can do this one of two ways:

my way

or 

my way MAD."  

-Jillian

(Biggest Loser) 

Is it too harsh to use with my kids? 

Watch Out Gerber

Last week, I decided to test my Mormoness and turn all of this

into this

(homemade applesauce and pureed peaches galore!)

I bought two 20 lbs boxes of of apples and peaches and turned into 

a crazy woman making baby food for sweet Austin. And I did it all while wearing my apron and listening to Rosemary Clooney.  June Cleaver's got nothing on me!

 My freezer is chock full of 

organic goodness and it makes me smile.  

This little guy is also making me smile.  

Perfect Saturday Morning

By Golly It Worked!

The kids and I have a tradition each week known as "Donut Friday."  It started back a few years ago when I watched two other kids Monday through Thursday, so Friday's became my special day with just my kids.  To treat them for surviving another week with extra kids in our house, we would stop for donuts and juice on the way to school.  We'd always end up at school early so we would sit in the parking lot and talk about all the fun things we wanted to do that weekend.  I. loved. it.  After a few minutes of conversation, I would send them and their chocolatey cheeks out the door to school.  

Last Friday, as we rushed around the house to Donut Friday, Ms. Hannah was copping quite the attitude, as, shockingly, she is known to do.  After several requests for a quick attitude adjustment, I dropped the hammer.  

"No Donut Friday for you!"  

Said just like the soup Nazi.  

My oh my how the tears fell! She cried and wailed and begged and pleaded, all to no avail.  I explained to her that she had made some poor choices that morning which resulted in the loss of something fun.  She didn't seem to get it at first, that whole action vs consequence thing, but after 45 minutes of her pleading with me, she finally dried her tears and seemed resolved to the fact that her Friday would be donut-less.  

This morning as I once again rallied the troops for Donut Friday, I noticed that Hannah was exceptionally helpful to me.  No arguing about the choice of shoes I presented, completely agreeable to the sweatshirt I picked out, all to eager to help with the dishes.  I thanked her repeatedly for her kindness and she whispered back to me that which I've waited to hear all of her life:

"I remembered how bad I felt last week when I wasn't being good and didn't get a donut so this week I wanted to be extra good to show you I deserved it."

A major breakthrough in the Hannah psyche!

I felt like I could literally see her maturing before my eyes.  It was awesome.  

And today, her cheeks were most definitely chocolately when I sent her off to school.  

The Squishers

Not to be forgotten, here is Sienna's first day of school.  She's been doing this thing with her face lately where she scrunches it all up into the biggest of cheesiest smiles and I absolutely love it.  It's been nice having a break from my little shadow but I often find myself turning around during the morning and am surprised when she's not there.  Too darn fast, this growing up thing.  

Family Picture

Brad's entire family converged on our home last week and it was delightful.  Ok, maybe not delightful since their arrival brought 8 extra adults and 5 extra kids, but you get the idea.  It was a crazy weekend where we all ran around in a hundred different directions but it was nice to feel so loved, that everyone was willing to travel to spend a few days with us.  We even managed a humongous family picture before most of the crew left (Brad's sis Eileen and his dad Rick aren't in this beautiful family picture and I really wish they were.)  

Isn't it awesome?

And They Said It Couldn't Be Done

So far, our journey has included: 

3 apartments

3 college degrees

3 towns

3 houses

4 cars

1 dog

4 kids

1 heart-shaped pizza

1 unbelievable Christmas gift

amazing friends

awesome family

a million laughs 

a few tears

and more joy that thought possible

which added together equals 11 years of perfection.   You are my one and only.  I love you to pieces.

Happy Anniversary! 

Dear Austin, 

As my fourth child, you are finally teaching me the lessons I so desperately needed to learn. Things such as leaving the vacumming til later, and taking the time to hold your sweet self and rock you back and forth.  And that the laundry will always be there to fold, but that you will grow and change every day and I will never have this time back.  I am learning to be still in the moments I have with you, to watch your face and see how your eyes dance around as you take in the world around you.  To spend time patting your back and letting you snuggle into my neck as I hold you close, not letting all the other things I feel I "have" to do creep in.  You are joy my sweet son, in the purest sense and my love for you overwhelms me.  I know with complete assurety that you were supposed to be my child and I am thankful for the chance to be your mother.  

Love, 
Mama

Several Days Late, And A Few Hundred Dollars Short

I can't believe how behind I am in blogging! I guess that's what happens when you have 12 different people circulate through your house over an 8 day period. We have had house guests galore and while it has been fantastic to feel the love of family, I am frankly POOPED. And as I sit to write this, it's just me and Austin. All three older kids are officially at school and it feels fantastic. I mean, sad and lonely, sure, but completely fantastic.

So much has happened but I'll start with back to school stuff. My kids are LOVING IT. I was nervous for Hannah in the Spanish immersion class, but so far, so good. She loves her teacher and feeling like a big girl going to Spencer's school and I am thrilled with how she is doing. And look how gorgeous they were on the first day:



I have so much more to write about but I'm trying to squeeze in a workout while Austin is sleeping and everyone else is gone. Have I mentioned already how much I love my new schedule???