Holy Moley

How is it the last day of February? Seriously. How did that happen? I feel like I was literally just putting away the Halloween decorations and here I am looking at new treats to add to my Easter goodies.

Time is whizzing by.

Did I mention that Austin is rounding the corner of 9 months old? Ok, so he still has a few weeks to go but he is my own little reminder that life never really does slow down. It only gets faster and faster and I need to hold on for dear life and enjoy the ride.

Yesterday was Austin's appointment in the big city. My little man was born with a congenital melanocystic nevus on his right hip which is a fancy word for big. hairy. mole. It was literally the first thing I saw when they put him on my chest and with all the motherly love I could muster post birth, I pointed at it and said "WHAT IS THAT?"

It kinda freaked me out.

They reassured me that all was well and he was perfectly fine and Brad and I thanked the heavens that this large lesion was in such an inconspicuous place. The good doctor even remarked that if one of his teenage girlfriends ever mentioned it later in life, then we'd know that she had seen too much.

The problem with the big hairy mole is that it has to be removed. The liklihood of it turning into something later in life is high and so it must come off. Which means my little one must have surgery. Under anesthesia. And I'm thankful for the technology but I hate that he has to do it.

We will soon be visiting with a renowned pediatric plastic surgeon to get the gameplan. I'm anxious to know what lies ahead and when this will all take place but I also wish I could just hold my little man close and keep all scalpels and knives at bay.

Because really? Big hairy mole or not, my little man is perfect.

Brain Vomit

I have so many things I want to post about but since I feel like DOO-KIE with my latest cold, I'll make it short and sweet (kind of like me)

*I want to take pictures of the amazing art center my brilliant SIL Tiffany constructed for me last week but the area is such a mess that I can't bare for you all to see. But the mess means it's being used CONSTANTLY (which it is) so that's a good thing right??? Sorry, my OCD is still winning this battle, but I promise pictures to come. It's awesome.

*My husband scored the most amazing deal on a new desk and hutch for our den this morning. Seriously, the man is genius and I'm so excited to go pick it up later today. Pictures of that to come too.

*I have to go sell Dr. Seuss hats at the school this afternoon during Jump Rope For Heart and although I usually love that sort of thing, the thought of sitting in a gym reeking of pre-pubescent sweaty jump ropers makes me want to gag. Good thing my sinuses are plugged to the max.

*I've gained 3 lbs. I'll just put it out there. And I'm annoyed with myself because I totally know what I'm doing wrong (that would be having brownies for breakfast...) and yet, I've been told that my weight loss is really noticeable more this past week than at any other time during this journey. Weird.

*I got a new haircut. I think I look HOT. Ok, maybe not hot but definitely luke-warm. I LOVE it.

*I went to visit a doctor yesterday about getting some of my parts put back to where they're supposed to be and the good doctor literally took one of my girls in his hand and folded it back on itself to show me what he could do. Quite possibly the most humiliating thing I've ever done. I'm also one of the worst cases he's ever seen. Sure makes a girl feel good about herself.

*Sienna will now only do things if Kaiya is doing the same thing, as in Sienna will go get in the tub with me as long as I call Lindsay to see if Kaiya is going to take a bath at the same time. Real, real handy.

*I'm headed to Seattle tomorrow with only my two littlest munchkins in tow. I am beyond excited because my mother will spoil me rotten and I get to catch up with some of the best women on the planet. And can you say Cheesecake Factory?

I know there's more rattling around in my brain but the bathtub is calling and I can't focus. Happy soaking to me.

Finished

Don't you want to know what I thought?

Photo Friday

I've Got A Hitch In My Giddyup

Have you ever felt like you're climbing up Everest in a snowstorm equipped with only a toothpick while wearing heels?







Me too.

Breaker, Breaker

This morning as I was walking at the mall, which is my usual routine Tue/Thur, I was literally in the middle of a great story with my walking partner when we were approached by an official looking mall person, complete with walkie-talkie.

"Um, excuse me ladies but can you tell me where you're parked?" asked official mall person.

"Right outside Barnes & Noble" we replied, wondering what in the heck was going on.

"I need you to exit the mall immediately, thank you" she said as she turned and left.

Um, weird.

Weirder still were the police cars at all the exits.

Weirder the most was the huge police car party parked at JC Penny's and the 30+ policeman who were being briefed before entering the mall.

Comforting? Not so much.

I didn't know what was going on until several hours later when the story broke that two suspects had been apprehended earlier for a mall break-in but one was still on the run and presumably somewhere in the mall.

Seriously people. I live in a small(ish) town for this very reason. Why do stupid people have to ruin everything?

I hope it warms up by Thursday cause this chickadee is now walking outside.

Photo Friday

Dear Spence,

It feels like it's been so long since I've written you. So long since we've gone on a date, or had one of our great late-night conversations, or had you smooch me before you get out of the car in the morning. You feel far away to me and while I will always be on the sidelines cheering you on in this life, I need you closer. Closer to me in every possible way because even though your life is changing, your independence growing, your confidence building, I am going to convince you that you will always need your Mama. Right by your side.

You are growing up. It thrills me. And it breaks my heart.

You are involved in so many things right now, maybe too much, but you have so much excitement about life and new things that it's nearly impossible for me to say no to you. Basketball, scouts, and now math club (are you sure you're my child?) The days roll by and I'll find myself thinking "did I even see Spence today?" I want you to do and try and explore and learn everything but I can't help feeling a little resentment to those which currently hold your attention. That job used to belong to me. I'd kinda like it back.

But I understand. I understand your need to try on many different hats to see which ones fit the best. I understand that friends are becoming more and more important to you. I understand that you choose Dad now as your favorite and the one you want to spend time with. And it's okay, all of it, as long as you know at the end of the day that your Mama loves you more than anything and still needs time with you.

The other morning I found myself alone with Austin and it made me think of life without all your siblings, when it was just you and me during the day. I remember feeling like we had our own special club and no one else in the world knew what it meant to be a part of it. Surely no other mother ever loved her child as much as I loved you! I wanted to take in every second of our time, to store it away so that one day, when you were older, I would remember everything. How I wish our minds could let go of some of the nonsense that fills it up and remember the feelings. The pure joy I felt at being your mom. The determination I had to make your life as best as I could. The love that builds up and overtakes every other emotion.

The thing about being a mom is that you get used to a lot of things. You get used to doing more and expecting less. You get used to being the driver in the front seat and the tailor that mends the clothes. You get used to all of it, because it comes with the territory. But I will never get used to watching you walk away from me. I will never get used to feeling like there isn't enough time in the day for us. I will never get used to a life without you at the center.

Love,
Mama

This Just In...

Austin's first tooth!

(I know you can't see it in this picture, but it's there.)

I Blame The Mucinex

I did something naughty this morning.

No, not that kind of naughty, but naughty all the same.

I left my three oldest at home alone. To prove a point.

Ok, so not really at home alone, but I did back out of the driveway and shut the garage door on them as they came screaming out of the house.

Here's the thing. The fact that I repeat things to my children, on average, 72 times before they actually listen to me is DRIVING. ME. MAD. I do everything in my power not to raise my voice or get angry and in turn they reward me by ignoring everything I say. So this morning, after I had asked them SEVEN times to get in the car and no one had moved an inch, I left.

I calmly loaded Austin into his carseat, put him in the car, came back inside for my phone and left. I was at the end of the driveway before they realized what was happening and came running out of the house in total panic. I waited for the garage door to shut completely and then I sat, in my cul-de-sac, sipping my Pero and waiting for my lesson to sink in.

After a minute or two I opened the door and all three of them were standing in the garage sobbing. Well, Spence wasn't crying but he looked rather ticked. Once they got in the car, I calmly had a conversation with them about what is expected and why they better start listening to me.

I think it worked. We'll see.

The thing is that they are old enough to know what needs to happen in the morning to get us out the door to school. They know what time we need to leave, they know how to read a clock, they know that I shouldn't have to put their shoes and socks on. They know. And nothing frustrates me more than being ignored, which is exactly what they are doing. I don't want to be a screaming mama but it often feels like it's the only thing that gets their attention. It's so perverse.

I'm anxious to see how tomorrow goes or if their ears will be better attuned to me this afternoon. And I'm thankful to not have neighbors at the moment so no one could report me to CPS.

Sick

Yesterday at about 6, I felt the beginnings of nasty little bug burrowing it's way into my sinuses. By midnight, it was a full blown raging sinus infection, complete with aching throat, horrid headache, and completely plugged nostrils.

My husband has meetings today.

My kids have early release.

My car is out of gas.

I've had no sleep and need to go to the grocery store.

Boo-hoo for me.

Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You...

Do you watch Oprah?

Yeah, me too.

I'm not obsessed, and I often delete the DVR if I'm not immediately drawn into the day's topic, but more often than not, I find that when I stick with a show, even one that seems to hold no interest for me, I learn something and think "Man! I'm so glad I saw that!"

Such was the case a few weeks ago. She was all atwitter after the inauguration and she was talking about the event with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, two individuals that I don't really spend much time thinking about but I was interested because they are pretty people and I always like to look at pretty people. (Erica, I'm sure you saw this one with all things Ashton...)

They were talking about the change to come and the uphill climb the president has before him. And I listened while doing the dishes, thinking yes, this man does have unblieveable obstacles in his way and I'm so glad I'm a mom to four crazy kittens and not the president of the United States ( although I would love to attend the Kennedy Center Honors sometime. Nice perk, that one). Anyway, then they said the coolest thing. They said that they discussed, as a family, what their rolls should be in making this world a better place. They came up with a pledge (abolishment of modern-day slavery in all forms) and have vowed to do all they can to make this happen. To contribute to the good of the country. To not just sit back and say "well, he failed" and point the finger, but to actually DO something about it.

So this got me thinking, as Oprah often does. Can I abolish slavery? Um, probably not. But can I do something, anything at all to contribute to the good of the world? Yeah, I probably can. And more importantly, can I teach my children that it's as much their responsibility as anyone elses? Oh yeah.

I've been thinking about this a lot and trying to come up with the right thing for me to pledge. It's hard, trying to narrow everything down to one thing but I think it's not nearly as important to worry about pledging the wrong thing as it is to just do something. (Man that sentence is confusing but hopefully you got what I'm saying.)
Demi and Ashton emphasized that every little thing helps, that every little thing is important and necessary and that no act of service is too small or seen as less important than anything else. And I appreciated this because I am a mom to four little kittens and my time, and my resources are limited. But I can do something and that's the important thing. I thought about doing more community service or making more frequent charitable contributions and although I do hope to do those, it didn't feel quite right. I've tried on several different ideas over the past few weeks and nothing was the right fit.

But now I've figured it out. So here goes:

I pledge to fully embrace motherhood and nurture my children to become the kind of people that will one day make pledges of their own.

Sounds pretty simple but I love it.

I think what I've realized and what's most important to me is that I want to cultivate children who fully understand that it is their responsibility as citizens of this country to give back. To do more for others. To take care of those around them. To see themselves as part of the solution and to not become part of the problem.

I think it's pretty easy to stand back and say "look what they have to fix!" whether it be about our politicians, our school teachers, our neighborhoods, our whatevers. But to really get in there and see what you have to offer? That's a lot harder.

And I love that this isn't about labels. This isn't about being a Democrat or being a Republican. This is about being a human being and a member of a society that has the power to do good. Real, authentic, pure-of-heart good.

I'm going to put my pledge over on my sidebar so that I''ll see it frequently and be reminded of what I want to do. Maybe it'll encourage you to make a pledge of your own, or maybe it'll make you roll your eyes and think "here she goes again!" Either way, I hope it gets you thinking.

Donut Friday Has Been Replaced....

...with Viera's Bakery Saturday. (Brad's idea)

It just opened up and is filled with things like cream cheese and strawberry stuffed croissants, superb turnovers in every flavor, and jalapeno and cheese rolls.

The also have a tortilla factory with fresh little numbers coming right out of the oven.

Not so good for my waistline but fantastic for my tastebuds.

Everyone local please go, so the little bakery on the corner will thrive and stay open for me and my family.

Thanks.