WIWW, Take 3

I'm running out the door for an early morning school conference followed by grocery shopping for 300+ tomorrow night that I'm co-chairing. Should be an interesting day! Today's outfit had to be comfy and easy, so here it is:

Cardi: Forever 21
Jeans: Gia
Striped shirt: Target

Linking up with Pleated Poppy!

Lunch Is Served

Kids, I have a weekend assignment for you.

Are you ready?

It involves food. Specifically this:

I promise you will thank me. I made these a few weeks back when one of our favorite families was visiting. As part of my Pinterest challenge to actually make what I'm so busy pinning, I chose this one for it's ease and likability. We found it to be comforting, savory, and exactly what we wanted.

I am a big believer in making a recipe for the first time as it is written. I feel like I can never know whether or not I truly like something if I don't make it true to form. However, the original recipe calls for the one food that I despise above all others-Miracle Whip. I'm sorry, I just can't do it so I only used mayonnaise. I also substituted Havarti cheese for the Swiss because, well, Havarti rocks. I know, I totally contridicted myself on this one and jacked this recipe to my own liking but I promise you that my version was amazing, as I'm sure the original recipe is.

If you like that sick-nast stuff Miracle Whip.

Ahem.

Anyway, here you go. Easy, inexpensive and delicious. My children loved it which means it's going into heavy rotation around these parts. Curl up with these bad boys and settle in to read a book this weekend. Sounds like fall to me.

Ham and Cheese Sliders

24 good white dinner rolls

24 pieces good honey ham
24 small slices Swiss cheese
1/3 cup mayonnaise
1/3 cup miracle whip

Poppy seed sauce
1 T poppyseeds
1 1/2 T yellow mustard
1 stick butter, melted
1 T minced onion
1/2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

In a small bowl, mix together mayonnaise and miracle whip. Spread onto both sides of the center of each roll. Place a slice of ham and a slice of Swiss inside of each roll. Close rolls and place them into a large baking dish or heavy cookie sheet. Place very close together.

In a medium bowl, whisk together all of the poppy seed sauce ingredients. Pour evenly over all of the sandwiches. Let sit 10 minutes or until butter sets slightly. Cover with foil and bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes or until cheese is melted. Uncover and cook for 2 additional minutes. Serve warm.

** sandwiches can be assembled a day ahead and kept in the fridge ready to bake

WIWW 2

I was hoping this week would be easier....not so much. My inner dialogue has been revved up in the negative and I'm working overtime to quiet it back down. Till then, here you go.

Cardi: Old Navy
Ruffle shirt & Jeggings: Kohls
Flats: Target
Scarf: WalMart
Flower: made by me, inspired by her

Hannah and I tried inside but the lighting obviously stinks. Still working out the kinks. I thought I would have oodles of outfits this week but that didn't happen either. Next week, I'm all in! Pop on over and see what everyone else is up to.

The Mother Of All Debates

I took my littlest pumpkin on a field trip to the patch this morning. There is something about this kid's face that makes it almost impossible for me to do anything other than smooch him all day long.

See what I mean?

And I'm so glad that I went. I was sort of on the fence about going because I had a sub job lined up today and was feeling the need to contribute to the family's resources by working. It was a good job in a good school and would have made for a nice, easy day but when I brought it up to The Rizz, he told me to cancel it right away. What's the point of being a stay-at-home mom if I miss the important stuff because I'm too busy working?

I saw this on Pinterest the other day and it's had me thinking.

via

I have friends who work outside the home and do it beautifully. Friends who stay up late and get up early and are engaged in their children in the most amazing ways. Friends who I'm sure feel the burdens that come with being a "working mom." And I have friends who stay home. Friends who can stay in their jammies longer and are there for every tear, every laugh and everything in between. Friends who feel the need to justify their time when someone asks "and what do you do?"

I've heard the arguments for both choices. How working moms have it easier because they get a break and have a place to be intellectually stimulated. How stay-at-home moms have it easier because they don't have any pressure from a workplace. Here's what I think: there is no easier. There is no harder. When you're a mother, either in the home or out, your entire focus, all day long, is taken up by your children. Your amazing and brilliant and gorgeous children. There is no "break" from parenting. There is no easier road. Being a mother means that your whole being is committed to those little people for your whole life. You will never stop worrying. You will never stop loving. You will never stop being fully aware of their every want and need. We're mothers. And we work awfully darn hard. End of story.

I stay at home to tend sick kids. To be there when they get home from school. To send them out the door each morning with a hug and a kiss. To do the chores of the house while they are away so that when they are home, I can be more present with them. To snuggle my last little one at home in the middle of the day while watching Dora. I'm home to be with my kids.



And to go to the pumpkin patch.

It's what works for our family. But if it didn't, I'd be working my hiney off elsewhere. I'd be doing everything I could at my job so that when I was home, I was nothing but mom. And I'd be doing it with my head held high.

Just like my friends.

I So Want To Call This What I Weigh Wednesday....

Oh man this is a funny process.

I laid out some ground rules for myself, as in Hannah can only take two pictures of me and I have to use one of them or else I know we'd be out there for an hour, with me making her shoot and shoot and shoot while I tweak my hair, fuss with my clothes, etc.

I also decided that I shouldn't Picnik the heck out of them and just leave them as is. I know myself well enough to know that I would suddenly become a Photoshop expert all in the name of lightening this part, shaving down that part, etc. This vanity thing runs to my core but I'm determined to fix it.

It's my kryptonite I tell ya!

KRYPTONITE!!!

So, here goes. I've only got two pictures because I decided to make myself do this on Sunday when I was already in my sweats, and yesterday I was called in to sub at the very last minute and raced out the door. But at least it's something.

Red Tunic & Belt: Target
Jeggings: Kohls
Cardi & Boots: Old Navy




Dress, Scarf & Boots that you can't see: TJ Maxx
Jacket: Nordstrom Rack
Empty pots and dirty porch: Me

Hannah and I will work on our picture taking but I think she's doing mighty fine at almost 9-years-old. Thanks for bearing with me through Operation Fix Karen's Brain. Believe it or not, I am already aware of what all this work is doing for me and I couldn't be happier.

Pop over here for more of WIWW.

The Twelve Year Project, Part V

So.

This is kind of a funny post to follow up my foodie girl post but timing has never been really been my thing. Just roll with it.

I'm in the middle of something new and to be frank, it's kind of freaking me out but I'm plugging through. Stepping out of my comfort zone and all that. And it's a funny sort of process and one that causes my anxiety level to soar upwards, but I'm managing. Barely.

Some backstory:

Remember when I made this decision? And lots of people thought it was great and some people thought it was horrible but I was okay with all of it because for the first time in ages, I felt fantastic. Like-doing-a-jig-in-your-living-room-without-any-music-playing-fantastic. And every morning when I got dressed, I marveled at the way clothes fit me. And when I stepped into the shower each morning, I had to do a double take at the body I was seeing. People commented on my appearance just about every place I went which, while being incredibly flattering, stroked my vain, vain ego.

And then the comments stopped. Everyone I knew had seen the "new" me and so the comments stopped. As they should have. But instead of seeing it for what it actually was, my uuber ego kicked in and my insecurities took over.

Maybe I didn't look good anymore?

Maybe everyone secretly thought it was a mistake?

Maybe I was getting fat again and no one knew what to say?

So.

My frustrations (and severely needy ego) decided to show everyone what was up. By eating again. And not working out. And gaining a little weight.

And then a little more.

And then.

Well, you know.


And here's what I've learned:

People really don't give a flying leap about what size my pants are. Or what number appears when I step on the scale. People don't care if my pants are buttoned all the way up or if I have back fat. People don't care if I eat yogurt and nuts every morning or if I thrown down a bag of chips.

People don't care.

AND THEY SHOULDN'T!

Do you hear the choral angels singing or is it just me?

I should be embarrassed about just how vain I am, how my mind tells my body over and over and over again how ugly it is. How fat is it. How unattractive it is. But I know that I had to go through all of this to get to where I am now. So I accept my super charged vain-y ego. I accept that I have been beating myself up for years with all the negative garbage swirling in my head. I accept what I've gained, and then lost, and then gained a bit again.

To be fair, I've gained 14 pounds. Not 114 pounds, not 44 pounds, but 14 from where I was at my lowest post baby weight. This is not a crisis. This isn't really even newsworthy but it's taught me so much. And so I'm sharing it here.

See, while I've been talking a good talk, I wasn't really walking the walk. Yes, surgery was absolutely the right decision for me and I will defend it to my grave. And yes, hearing people say that you look nice is a lovely thing. But it's not the only thing and for far too long, I put all of my stock on what people said about my appearance.

How embarrassing is that?

The good news? I've figured it out. I've discovered what my triggers are and what makes me spin into a cycle of negative self talk. I've worked hard to change my inner dialogue and park the negative at the door. I've stopped fishing for compliments and learned to give them to myself.

It occurred to me one day that if I took all the energy I used into hating the way I looked and channeled it into loving myself, I could do myself a world of good. And if I could actually change the way I felt about myself, I could be the role model to my girls (and boys) that I've always wanted to be. Because all that crud that I carried around? All that storming around in the closet when things didn't look right? All those words I uttered? They heard it. They saw it. And I was creating in them the negative monsters I was so desperately trying to rid myself of. I think if I could save my girls from one particular heartache, it would probably be this.

Here's the funny part: since I've been retraining my brain and making a HUGE effort to chill myself out, the scale has been going down. Little by little, those pesky 14 are heading out and it's been a huge testament to me that what we think determines what we see. If you tell yourself you can't, you won't.

But if you tell yourself you can, well, watch the farg out!

So, back to the out-of-my-comfort zone process: I've been taking pictures of myself. And I'm going to post them each Wednesday along with this gal. I'm doing it not so much to document what I've been wearing, although I dig that part, but because I need to get out of my head on this whole body image thing and accept myself. I need to stop hiding behind the camera and refusing to have my picture taken. I need for my kids to see that I'm proud of myself and that I can appreciate how able my body is. I need to break this cycle of self loathing and be accountable and comfortable with how I look.

I know, I know, the haters are going to scream that this is merely a cry for more ego stroking and frankly, they can think that. I have come to understand that changing my mind is an active process and that to do it right, I have to do the things that terrify me the most.

This is one of those things.

I'm hoping I remember to turn comments off on Wednesdays because I really don't want all 12 of you to tell me how pretty I am. The old me, yes, she would have begged for that, but this, this is for me. This is just another step in ridding myself of the beast called self-loathing. Because this body, with it's scars and sags and strength and power deserves so much better. This mind deserves to be freed up for more productive things. This girl deserves to be proud of herself.

And I'm working on it.

Foodie Girl Takes Over The PRP

If you know me at all, or have seen the size of my thighs, then you know that I love food. The planning of it, the making of it and of course, the eating of it. I love the smells that come from a kitchen. I love planning a menu, tweaking it until it's just right. I love knowing that I made something that others enjoy.

The Rizz says that cooking is my love language. I guess technically "service" would be my love language but if you're important to me at all, I will most likely show you by making you something delicious to eat. And while I've loved cooking for years and years and years and have learned all the basics from my mama who is quite the cook herself, my recipes have staled a bit and I've found myself making the same things over and over.

Enter Pinterest.

I know, I know, I can hear The Rizz sighing now as his love for Pinterest does not run nearly as deep as mine, (or at all) but he has been the recipient of some mighty fine fares as of late. I've been a pinning fool and am filling up my "Foodie Girl" board with all kinds of deliciousness. And because I love cooking so much, I've decided to add a regular feature to this little blog where I will rate and review my latest recipe finds.

This is good news for my family and all 7 of you readers.

Not such good news for my thighs.

But here goes anyway.

1. Bacon Mac & Cheese with Gruyere
2. Gorgonzola French Bread
3. Brownie Oreo Cookie
4. Ham & Cheese Sliders

You're drooling a little bit, aren't you?

With the exception of the mac & cheese, I have made the above and will review them soon but today I wanted to start with breakfast. I am not really a breakfast girl myself. I can pass up eggs and bacon, pancakes and oatmeal without giving it a second thought. Most mornings, I would rather eat last night's leftovers than deal with breakfast foods but if there is one thing that makes me swoon in the morning, it's this:



I am fully convinced that Eggs Benedict is the food of the Gods and that Hollandaise sauce is the nectar of all that's good in the world. It is usually our Father's/Mother's Day breakfast and my kids love it as much as The Rizz and I. So when I stumbled upon this little gem of a recipe, I realized that my perfectly perfect food may have just gotten better. It is a basic Eggs Benedict recipe with a twist or two; namely, the addition of bacon and avocado. I could do an entire post on the merits of bacon and avocado and probably will at some point, but for now, let's focus on the recipe.

It. Was. Awesome.

The addition of the avocado was genius. It's rich flavor was a wonderful addition to an already stellar recipe and I loved the swirl of flavors. And the bacon? Well, that crispy deliciousness was divine. I loved the salted crunch of the bacon mixed in with everything else.

As for the chipotle Hollandaise, I struggled with finding a specific ingredient and so relied on my stand-by recipe for Hollandaise. It was fantastic but as a spice lover, I'm anxious to try the kicked up version.

To be fair, this isn't a standard breakfast by any means but if you're looking for a sure-fire hit, give this a try. We loved it.

To find the recipe in full, click here.

To peruse the recipes on my Food Board, Foodie Girl, click here.

To see what else I'm loving, click here.

Bon Apetit!