Friday, November 03, 2006

13 Pounds of Pee and Holding

The staff of Pasco High School has decided to jump on the reality TV bandwagon and is holding a Biggest Loser contest. You can enter in one of two ways; signing up for the big contest which lasts several months and costs $150 per entry or doing a smaller, month-to-month version which is what Brad opted for. He only had to pay $20 and the whoever has lost the most weight by the next weigh-in gets all of that money.

In order to up his chances, my husband rose nice and early this morning and started sucking down water like his throat was on fire. He refused to pee or poop and put on his heaviest clothing. Because he has already dropped 25 lbs, he wanted to pad his weight and make his odds at winning nearly unbeatable.

On our scale, before all the drinking and poop holding, he weighed in at 260 lbs. He called me from school just after weighing in and says triumphantly that his weight recorded at 273.6 lbs. That's 13 pounds of WATER!!!!! He said that he drank over a gallon of water this morning and a gallon weighs 8 lbs. Isn't that the craziest thing ever??? We had to get off the phone rather quickly since I think pee was starting to seep through his pores.

I feel like I should warn the staff of PHS that they have NO CHANCE of winning since my husband is a maniacal weight loss machine, but I'm looking forward to all that fat cash (get it, fat cash!?!) that I can spend on Christmas.


Heather said...

Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson ever the competitor. How did he drink all that water? I can barely down 16 oz at a time.

emahaf said...

I can not believe he drank all that water either. I hope he wins and you guys are able to pay for the new bladder suspension aparatus that brad may need after drinking that much water that fast.

brojonel said...

I am impressed with Brad's dedication and determination to the cause. Being that he can hold that much water in his body, maybe he should look into professional hotdog eating contests for a little spare change. He might have a good chance toppling Takeru Kobayashi as world champion.

Nicole said...

Brad need to have a baby - we'll just see how much his bladder can hold after that!

Travis said...

I have a thought though, what if certain people who happen to be administrating this contest were to read what you have writ, would they possibly disqualify him, citing this blog as evidence?

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