Last night as I was taking a bath, Hannah came wandering into the bathroom. I figured she was going to ask to hop in as she usually does but instead she asked something else.
"Mama, can I wash your back?"
Knowing that this is one of her favorite things, to think that she is being helpful to me, I took note that the bubbles were still strategically placed and slowly leaned forward.
"Wow Mama, you sure have a fat bum!"
I turned my head to her slowly hoping that I wouldn't burst out laughing or burst into tears.
"Hannah" I said very seriously "it's not nice to say that to someone. You could really hurt their feelings with those words. We only want to say nice things to people so that they feel good."
Hannah takes a moment to let this register.
"I'm not being mean Mama. I'm just telling you that your bum is really fat. Can you see it back there?"
The internal battle of laughter vs. tears rages on.
"And we always tell Uncle Matty that he's fat and he just laughs when we say it."
2 points Hannah, 0 Mama.
"You're right, sweetie. But it's still not nice to say things like that and we should never say that to Uncle Matty again. What if we made him feel sad?"
"But if you don't want to feel sad Mama then you shouldn't be fat."
CRAP!!! 4 points Hannah, 0 Mama. She is teetering between the rudest kid on the planet and true enlightenment but I'm not sure which.
"The point is, Hannah, that everyone may look different on the outside but we're all the same on the inside and that's all that matters."
We go round and round a few more times as I try to explain to Hannah the difference between being truthful and being too truthful. It's a hard concept for an adult, let alone a four-year-old. After several minutes of questions and answers she seems to get my point.
"Okay Mama, I won't say that again, even if your bum really is fat."
I leaned over the tub and gave her a hug. As I settled back into the water Hannah exlaimed "Wow Mama! Your boobies are even fatter than your bum!"
Final score-Hannah: 1 million gagillion points, Mama: big FAT nothing.