My stomach is all sorts of somersaulty today.
There are big happenings in our home today. Spence is giving his speech this afternoon for 5th grade vice president and I'm not sure which one of us is more nervous.
I'm pretty sure it's me.
And I know all moms feel this when when their babes attempt to tackle something new. And I'm not nervous that he won't win; there are 52 students running for four possible positions which is unheard of at our school, so I'm well aware that he has an uphill climb. What scares me, what makes me nervous, what keeps my stomach rolling around and around is that my boy will lose a little part of what makes him so bloody fantastic.
Spencer is good, plain and simple. He sees the good in others, is first to volunteer to help and truly believes that if you work hard and are a good person, everything will work out. I love this about him. I would happily take credit for his ilfe-is-beautiful attitude but I can tell you that he came here to us just as he is. He has his moments, don't get me wrong, but Spence is the kind of kid that makes moms swoon.
And so while he knows about all the competition and will be the first to tell you that the election is really just a popularity contest (which I hate) he really believes he'll win. He reasons that all his service over his years at the school will show everyone why he's the best man for the job.
"I've been a buddy helper since 2nd grade!"
"I've taken the kindergarten lunch totes back to the classroom since third grade!"
"I stayed after school my whole 2nd grade year to help Sra. P clean the desks!"
And so on.
More than anything, I want this to be true. I want him to know that hard work pays off, that people care more about who will do the job well than who will be entertaining while doing it. I want him to feel good about all those times he's skipped recess or stayed late to help another teacher or classmate. And he does, because he's Spence. I know that whatever the outcome, he'll show up to school on Monday with a smile on his face, ready to support whoever wins. I just hope that in the process, he'll retain all that yummy Spencerness. That he'll feel proud of himself for taking a chance and doing something out of his comfort zone. That whatever happens, he'll be ready to try again. And most importantly, that he'll know how he knocked my socks off for being so brave.
Fingers are crossed, buddy. Go get 'em.