Thursday, August 03, 2006

Okay Thighs, You Really Have To Stop Meeting Like This

After walking through life as a chubby girl for the past few years (ok, more than a few but who's counting??) I may have FINALLY figured out what my problem is.

It all became clear as a bell last night as I lay in bed, WATCHING a new show on Bravo called "Workout" which is about some psuedo-human workout machine opening her own gym in LA and READING Shape magazine.

For most, the combination of the watching and the reading would be more than enough to motivate them into a size 2. For me, however, only two words rang out in my head.


Here's how the dialogue went:

TV: "Okay Tess, I really want you to focus on your form and get those last few reps in."

Inner Monologue: Should I get a crunch wrap supreme and the nachos or just one or the other?

Magazine: How To Finally Rid Your Abdomen Of That Baby Weight

Inner Monologue: Two items seems gluttoness, so maybe I should just go with one nacho cheese Chalupa.

TV: "Nice work, Tess, almost there..."

Magazine: From Flabby to Fantastic in Six Easy Moves

Inner Monologue: You know, a 7 layer burrito sounds awfully good....

You get the picture.

The good news is that I have actually learned something in my battle of the bulge and I didn't go to Taco Bell. I went to bed ravenous as all skinny people do and woke up feeling like a rock star for my huge accomplishment. The bad news is that I really do want to end my day with cheese and salsa. At least now I know.

I'll be skinny in no time!

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