Where's My $5000 Visa?

For the most part, I'm a pretty cute mom. I wake up everyday, shower, apply makeup, do hair, and find something decent to wear. Usually this involves me trying to shove my badonkadonk into some non-mom jeans and find a shirt that doesn't make me look like a walking advertisement for breast reduction but I do my best.

Today, however, I didn't feel like that. My junk was begging for a much roomier trunk so I reached for some sweats, feeling slightly guilty that I may end up on the next episode of "What Not To Wear" but still willing to risk it. I can practically hear Stacey and Clinton lecturing me on appropriate 'errand wear' but since my dear Aunt Flo has been visiting every two weeks instead of her normal 28 days, I desperately wanted some comfort. (And yes, I have called my OB to see about getting in but he is booked until the end of November, so I will either continue to hemorrage until then or drop dead from simply being OUT OF BLOOD. I'll keep you posted.)

I rationalized my sweat suit choice because I wasn't planning on going anywhere today and needed to get some cleaning done, which is what I was doing until I realized that I was all out of wood polish and would need to make a quick run to the store. Off I go.

As I pull up to the store, I notice two women coming out of the store both wearing sweat suits similar to mine. That's oddly comforting, I note to myself. At least I'm not the only person running around breaking all the rules of mommy fashion. Then, as I'm getting the girls out of the car, the women across the way is doing the same thing while sporting her own cute little sweat suit. Feeling even more smug with myself than before, I head into the store.

As I make my way through the aisles, with a completely random grocery list of wood polish, cream cheese, Crystal Light To-Go packs and a cucumber, I encounter EIGHT more sweat-suited mommies. That's got to be a record of some kind.

So here's what I'm thinking: 1) the women of West Pasco are suffering from severe PMS like myself; 2) I somehow didn't receive the memo about Sweat Suit Thursdays; 3) we have all decided to thumb our noses at Stacy and Clinton and give into comfort over chic. Who wants to scrub toilets and chase kids in skinny jeans and kitten heels anyway?

Although that's probably what I'll be trying to do tomorrow...