Like A Bowl Full Of Jelly

For those of you who know me well, you know that I am not smart. Not a bright bulb. A Twinkie missing it's filling. A book without punctuation. This elevator does not reach the top, if you know what I'm saying.

I've always been okay with my lack of smarts because I have lots of other nice talents. I can cook like a mother. I can match my own clothes. I'm a good cleaner. And when it comes to people I've got pretty decent skills. I can make people feel comfortable, usually make them laugh, and as a nuturing sort, this has gotten me through A-ok.

This morning, however, my stupidity became blindingly clear. As I was folding laundry up in my room, I turned on the TV and the movie Along Came Polly was on. As one who always enjoys both Jennifer Aniston and Ben Stiller I watched while I worked. At the commercial break I found myself remembering the beautiful red dress that Jennifer wore to the London premier of the movie. It was adorable, she looked fabulous, I especially liked her shoes, blah, blah blah. The movie came back on and I mindlessly continued folding laundry. Then all of a sudden, like a beam of light from the Heavens, it occurred to me why I am so friggin stupid. If my brain is filled up with random information like what Jennifer Aniston was wearing 5 years ago, no wonder I can never remember how to double 2/3 cups in a recipe! All the space in my noggin saved for things like US History and world politics is instead being used for worthless information like the color scheme Courtney Cox used in the last house she remodeled (whites & grays, very mod) and who John Travolta was first married to (Diana Hyland, 18 years his senior who died of cancer in his arms.)

So I'm actually not stupid. My brain is working at full capacity. It's just that what it's full of is unbelievably benign and ordinary. I'm going to try to do some housecleaning and clear up some space in my rusty old brain and store new information there, like some basic math principles and how to read a sewing pattern or sheet music. I'm not all that optimistic but it's worth a shot.