Saturday, December 02, 2006

Is It A Bird? A Plane? No, It's Brad, Bulimic Man

Disclaimer: I am well aware that the following story is a heinous act to one's body but it was necessary to insure victory and provide the Johnson's with a little cash-ola in which to spend on Christmas.

The results are in and my husband officially won the Biggest Loser contest at PHS. How much did he lose? A whopping 25 stinkin pounds in one month's time. I KNOW. How did he do it? By working out twice a day, usually burning around 1200 calories and eating around 800 calories a day. For the last two days before the weigh-in, he drank nothing but protein mix and water. The good news is that he looks and feels fantastic and has great plans for the money. The bad news is that we're waiting for his liver to shut down at any time. But as he said Thursday night while literally starving "nothing tastes as good as thin feels Karen." Spoken like a true anorexic.

In other news, all three of my children have the cough of the devil and I'm just waiting for one of them to chuck out a lung. Hannah slept with me again last night so as not to bother Sienna and she woke up puking from all the gunk in her chest. Off to the Kania Clinic we go this morning. I'm so looking forward to another day of quarrantine with my children, especially Sienna who in bitter refusal continues still NOT TO TALK and has taken to following me around mimicking a howler monkey. I wonder how much it costs to get your eardrums removed? Spencer and Hannah seem to have mastered tuning her out but I am unable to get away from the her noise. Maybe it's because she permanently attaches herself to my leg from sun up to sun down. She sure is going to be disappointed when she finds nothing but coal in her stocking.


Anonymous said...

Well, he certainly made up for the weight loss with all the pizza eating he did.

Tharker said...

Glad to hear your demented husband won the contest! Still I have to be super impressed because I've never known ANYONE who can lose weight like B-RAD! So even if he will have to check into rehab soon, at least he's looking great right! Sorry about all the sickies. At least you guys got out for a bit last night. And props to Brad for going to the jewelry show with you! If that's not true love, I don't know what is.

emahaf said...

Sorry that your kids are sick. Conners asthma has been acting up again and he has a terrible couph as well. Tell brad way to go on the weight loss, and make sure you get some of that prize money to spend on something fun.