Sunday, March 18, 2007

Here She Goes Again

I don't mean to make all of my recent posts about Hannah, but that girl has come up with some DOOZIES that last few days that I just have to share.
(Okay, the first one is more about me then her but it's so typical Mama Karen that I still had to share it.)

*A little bit of history for anyone who hasn't spent oodles of time with Hannah and thus isn't accustomed to her sound effects...let me start by saying that for quite some time now, she has had the HORRIBLE habit of making this whining/grunting/constipated sound when she gets frustrated doing something. Any little thing can cause her to break down all reasonable forms of communication and let out this awful guttural sound, from not getting her shoes on as fast as she wants to getting stuck in her pants when it's time to pee. It drives me so crazy that it tops my list of Things That Will Put Mama In An Institution. I HATE it.

(I know, how could a child as beautiful as this do anything to drive me crazy, but she does.)

Because of my visceral reaction to said noise, we have worked diligently in teaching Hannah to say "help, please" whenever she finds herself on the brink of a meltdown and to her credit, she has done extremely well. I rarely hear her make that sound anymore and I think my blood pressure has dropped dramatically.

Fast forward to Friday when I was busy talking to Tiffani on the phone about all the excitement surrounding Jake's new wheelchair. I was so happy for their family and for little Jake that even though I faintly heard the beginning of the grunting sound, I dismissed it thinking that I would remind Hannah of her new-found coping skills once I got off the phone. She started to get louder and louder and at first, I calmly yelled out to her "honey, calm down. Ask for help if you need it." She didn't reply so I went back to my conversation. Then the grunting came back, louder and louder, so I said, a little more firmly "Hannah! If you need help, ask for it or come here! Stop making that sound!" The next thing I know, she is making this sound that equals that of a horse giving birth and I yell out "Hannah!!!! Stop it now! Use your words! You're driving me nuts with that sound! Come here already!" (And remember, I said all of this while on the phone with Tiffani who had first row seats to my What-Not-To-Do Parenting Seminar.)


It was quiet for a moment and then Hannah yelled out "Mama, I can't come there right now. I'm busy throwing up. I'll be there in a sec."



I HATE MYSELF.


I hung up the phone and raced to the bathroom to find Hannah, sure enough, hanging over the toilet bowl and holding her own hair back and she purged her entire Dino nugget lunch. I felt HORRIBLE. AWFUL. THE WORST EVER. Once I cleaned her up and calmed her down, I laid on the couch with her and stroked her hair while telling her over and over again that I was the biggest mama schmuck ever.


*The next Hannahism came as we were laying in bed last night going over our favorite parts of the day. Hannah had gone to a birthday party earlier in the day and when we were shopping for a present in the morning, she pleaded her way into the purchase of a new My Little Pony (probably playing on my tremendous guilt from the whole barfing episode.) As she tucked Sparkly or Twinkly or Shimmery into bed next to her she said "now my life is complete." SERIOUSLY. How cute is that?



*Finally, tonight as we had family snuggle, Brad and I were laughing and and teasing each other and I playfully smacked his arm which made Brad say "Hannah, tell mama to stop being mean to dad." Hannah, all on her own said "no daddy, you stop being such a piss to mama." Um, yeah, that would be all me right there. My word, my usage, my own little mortifying lesson on how kids learn thrown right back in my face. SO AWESOME. But hysterically funny all the same.

(I give you all persmission to smack me upside the head if you hear me use that word again
for anything other than the retelling of a pee story.)


I have joked about Hannah and her uniqueness since she was born and there are days when I think she can't come up with anything else to totally stump me, and then she does. But in the words of Oprah, this much I know for sure: my life would be completely empty without her. She means everything to me and the world is lucky to have her. I love her completely, without reservation, in all the best ways that a mama loves her babies. I know she was sent here for me and I would be lost without her.

7 comments:

Heather said...

I love love love it! It was all so funny!
You're a great mom. We all have our mis-steps, luckily most of mine don't happen while on the phone.

Marilyn said...

Karen, I was laughing so loud at your use of the phrase "equals that of a horse giving birth", that Brandon just had to know what was so funny.

Such funny stories, thanks for sharing. You are a good mommy, even if Hannah had to hold her own hair while vomiting.

Tharker said...

Oh Karen...I didn't even think twice about the vomiting episode. That is, once I wrote in down on my What Not to Do list...heehee! You're so funny. I'm laughing so hard at her saying "piss". I can totally hear her sweet little voice belting that one out. I'm also so pleased to hear that Hannah's life is now complete with her new pony.

We all love and adore Hannah. It would be a bleak world indeed without her.

dandee said...

Hannah adds such personality to your family, it would be strange to think of the Johnson's hannah-less. Love the pictures!

emahaf said...

That was such a great story of hannah. But I think I would have done the same thing

Alicia said...

Karen, I thought Hannah regularly goes in and throws up on her own? I love this post devoted to her. So cute.

Puerto Rican Princess said...

She is a world class barfer, probably a gold medal contender in the Olympics of purging. But I still felt bad.