Thursday, November 29, 2007

Another Lesson Learned

So yesterday afternoon when Spence gets home from school, we have our conversation about how his day went. He tells me what specials he had and who got in trouble in class and then he tells me that one part of his day was bad. I asked him what happened and he said that some kids were making fun of him and calling him names. With full Mama Bear mode coming out, I asked what happened exactly.
"Some kids called me Mr. Weird Teeth because I lost that tooth so long ago and the new one hasn't come in yet."

(This is the part of the story where my rage was now bubbling over, crazed by the fact that someone would dare say something rude to my child, BUT, wanting to make this a teaching moment for Spencer, I pushed down my inner postal worker and said this:)
"How did that make you feel honey?"
"Not very good."
"You know what I think? I think that when someone says something mean to someone else, it's because they don't like something about themself, and so to feel better, they try to make others feel as bad as they do."
"You mean like when you're reading magazines and you don't like the girls in them because they're all so skinny?"
"Exactly."
So maybe what I've been modeling isn't exactly right, but he seemed to get what I was trying to say and I think it made him feel better.
Nothing makes me ache like someone being mean to my children. I know it's all part of school and growing up, but I hate it.

10 comments:

Kelly said...

Poor sweet Spencer. I don't think there is a kid on this planet who isn't plagued with this kind of treatment at one time or another. I guess it's just part of growing up. You handled it perfectly.

Supermodels are yucky.

Tharker said...

I agree with Kelly. You took advantage of the perfect teaching moment, and it sounds like it helped him. You're a great example Karen.

vwbabe said...

That sucks...I remember those days. But in the end they do make us stronger. I like to think that is why I am such a rock star :) I think you should teach Spence a few basic skills in throwing down these jerks. It might help :)

Melissa said...

:S That's too bad that the kids were mean... You're awesome to turn it into a learning moment! It's always nice to recognize those moments... good job!

Nicole said...

Awww! Poor Spence. That makes me sad. I hate that kids are so mean to eachother! (Although, Nick told me recently that he didn't want to keep Ty because he has some missing teeth. I thought it was pretty funny, as I informed him that he would be loosing teeth some day too!)

That's funny that perceptive Spencer picked up on the model bashing. At least it came in handy;)

Isn't it hard to explain things like this to your kids? It's so tempting to be the helicopter parent sometimes!

Heather said...

Man... Your kids are soo perceptive. Glad you had the right frame of mind to be a great teacher.

Marilyn said...

Way to control your "mothering hovering", it is really hard to do sometimes.

Knotaklu said...

Hi, PRP (whatever does that stand for anyway). I've enjoyed reading your blog now and then. First, your a wonderful mom. One can tell by looking at your kids. And your a good writer. Your really hit the "fab four" personalities right on. Michele (one "L") is the only kid I know who got suspended from gradeschool because she couldn't keep her mouth shut! It has been very rewarding to experience the friendship you four have. Your all very lucky. Knotaklu (aka, Michellllle's dad, opps the l key stuck again).

Sarah said...

It is more painful for me to see my child get hurt emotionally than physically. Poor little Spencer, why is it always the nice kids that this happens too? You're right though, it's usually the kids that don't feel good about themselves and they are probably envious of him and that's probably the only thing they could come up with to give him a hard time about. Hope those kids knock it off.

Movie Queen said...

Those blasted teeth. Macy has like, four teeth left, but the last one she lost was her top middle one and it came halfway loose and hung there, completely crooked, forEVER. It was horrible. I can't believe she didn't come home from school with this same problem.