Ok, I'll admit it.
I am completely defeated.
You win, Life, I lose.
I swear I'm trying really hard here to find joy in the little things and be ok with everything that's going on, but really? I'm worn out. I'm exhausted. I feel like I can't handle anything else, good or bad, and that the only thing that might make me feel better is if some doctor could figure out how to put a cast on my hoo-hoo. It. hurts. that. bad. And when that's what you're longing for, some plaster on your girl parts to make you feel better, you know you are one step away from the happy pills in the padded room.
Sienna has been um, DIFFICULT today as she has cried about most things. And because I feel bad for her and the trauma of yesterday, I'm running around like a crazy person trying to soothe her every whim.
Oh, I'm sorry, you wanted your drink in the purple cup instead of the green one? No problem.
You don't like your pizza and want me to make something else? Sure sweetie.
You drank an entire box of Capri Suns while I was upstairs folding laundry? No big deal.
You want to live solely on a diet of cottage cheese and granola bars? Here, have some more.
And the worst part, the part that makes me feel like a truly horrible mom, is that the TV has been on almost consistently today. I think we've watched every Dora and Backyardigans that we have DVR'd and it's only 5:30. But it's too cold to go outside and I can't really run and play even if it weren't. And I can only read "It Looks Like Spilt Milk" so many times. I don't have the energy to create or pretend or do anything else that might stimulate their brains.
To simplify, I am crap Mama today.
So tomorrow will be better. I have vented, gotten it all out and will greet tomorrow with whole-hearted enthusiasm. I will go on Hannah's field trip, attend baseball practice, and do something constructive with my children who must wonder where their mama has gone.
20 comments:
Yeah first to comment. woot! My dear sweet Karen, what a fantastic mother and wife you are and some days when your husband is gone from 7 in the morning until 9 at night it's okay for the kids to watch TV. I still love you and I'll be home in a few hours.... :)
Sorry if this publishes twice, I don't know what blogger is trying to do.
You need to borrow Jen's maternity belt for your hoo-hoo. It's those ligaments trying to support your beautiful growing belly. Call her right now and ask to borrow it. Wear it all day and I promise you'll feel a difference!
You're still an amazing mama.
Cheer up your a great mom. Some days you just do what ya gotta do to survive. Tommorow will be better. Is there anything I can do to help?
Seriously you are doing awesome, borrow that belt then Kim mentioned and be on your merry way.
First of all, I LOVE that you actually wrote hoo-hoo! For that, and many other reasons, I simply adore you!
I second your wonderful husband. You are doing so much, and it is okay for the kids to watch some, okay... a lot of TV right now.
I've never heard of the maternity belt, but it sounds like Kim is on to something there. Call Jen!
My hoo-hoo is hurting just thinking back to the good ol' days of 3rd trimester JOY. You are a good mom. The fact that you feel bad that their up to their necks in too much TV time is proof. Listen to Dr. Laura tomorrow and you will feel much better. The belt thing sounds good to me. Didn't know they had those. I wish I would've know so I didn't have to ride a cart in Walmart all those times my hoo-hoo felt like... hmmmm... better stop there. Hoo-hoo. Funny Stuff.
BTW. I love your blog. Sorry about yesterday.
Oh, Karen. You make me laugh. "plaster on your girl parts." My new favorite phrase. I picture Meredith on the Office when she fractured her pelvis. That's what you need, eh?
Seriously, I ache reading this. I can feel your exhaustion and defeat. Some day soon you'll get a break! I promise! And please, please do not have guilt about anything. Those days when we're hanging on by a thread, I tell myself I'm being a good mom if my kids are still alive at the end of the day. (Planted in front of the tv is the safest place for them on those days!)
I looked at the clock and am relieved that your hubby is almost home. These are long days indeed for you. So sorry Karen.
I've had many a day where my kids sat in front of the TV and I WASN'T prego or in pain...so cut yourself a little slack. You are not a crap mama at all. You are one of the best I know!!
Don't overdue it tomorrow...try to get some rest and relaxation. I'm sure that is what the doctor ordered.
Hang in there Karen.
I've watched your little baby count down and you've come soo far. The end is in sight.
Do NOT feel bad about TV.
I thought it was normal to let your kids drink an entire box of 12 capri suns?
The belt sounds like a great idea!
Deep breaths....you can do it!
I love how you are still humorous even when you're miserable - the sign of a true "endurer." Seriously, I'm impressed that you're still doing laundry, reading books to the kids, and even considering going on a field trip. Very impressive!
You are wonder woman in my opinion. You seem to always keep going and going and going. Just like the bunny! You are awesome, and I have let my kids watch TV all day, way too often! :)
Really, if we are being honest, every one of us mothers has days like this where we feel worthless and let the kids watch tv all day long. But then we pick ourselves back up and start fresh with a new day.
I truly hope you have a better day today!
Seriously, just go get a catheder put in and have them slap some plaster on. And then come over so I can cater to your every whim!
you rock. in so many ways.
Uh, Heather, I think you need people catering to your every whim too, between your pregnancy and baby-sitting!
Sorry you've had a terrible week there. You really need to let me help you out more--drop your girls off, come over for pasta breakfast, whatever. And whatever you do, don't mow your lawn again!
This post cracked me up! Your descriptions are hilarious. It's so hard when all the doctor tells you is to take it easy and you are so miserable. You are a good mom! Just keep repeating that to yourself over and over.
Karen-
I am so with you.
Love,
Kristin
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