Ok, I'll admit it.
I am completely defeated.
You win, Life, I lose.
I swear I'm trying really hard here to find joy in the little things and be ok with everything that's going on, but really? I'm worn out. I'm exhausted. I feel like I can't handle anything else, good or bad, and that the only thing that might make me feel better is if some doctor could figure out how to put a cast on my hoo-hoo. It. hurts. that. bad. And when that's what you're longing for, some plaster on your girl parts to make you feel better, you know you are one step away from the happy pills in the padded room.
Sienna has been um, DIFFICULT today as she has cried about most things. And because I feel bad for her and the trauma of yesterday, I'm running around like a crazy person trying to soothe her every whim.
Oh, I'm sorry, you wanted your drink in the purple cup instead of the green one? No problem.
You don't like your pizza and want me to make something else? Sure sweetie.
You drank an entire box of Capri Suns while I was upstairs folding laundry? No big deal.
You want to live solely on a diet of cottage cheese and granola bars? Here, have some more.
And the worst part, the part that makes me feel like a truly horrible mom, is that the TV has been on almost consistently today. I think we've watched every Dora and Backyardigans that we have DVR'd and it's only 5:30. But it's too cold to go outside and I can't really run and play even if it weren't. And I can only read "It Looks Like Spilt Milk" so many times. I don't have the energy to create or pretend or do anything else that might stimulate their brains.
To simplify, I am crap Mama today.
So tomorrow will be better. I have vented, gotten it all out and will greet tomorrow with whole-hearted enthusiasm. I will go on Hannah's field trip, attend baseball practice, and do something constructive with my children who must wonder where their mama has gone.