Finally

Are your ready for this?

I am maturing right before your very eyes.

I did something bold tonight, something that I haven't done since this little bloggy first came to be. I replaced my profile photo with an actual photo of myself.

I know. Believe me, I know.

It may seem like something completely silly and benign, and it probably is, but it's a huge step for me in feeling comfortable in this skin. I am often mistaken for having enough confidence for the greater population of Saskatchewan but in truth, I do not. That person does make an appearance in social settings and when things get quiet, but I beat myself up endlessly. And really, it's time for all that hogwash to end.

Let's be honest here. This body is not exactly what I had in mind. It is lumpy and bumpy and rolly and saggy, but it's my body and I've learned a lot about it recently. It did an amazing job of bringing four wonderful souls to this earth. It carries me through my daily life. It allows me to laugh and run and roll on the floor with my kids. It reminds me when I need to slow down and grant it rest and it allows me to do everything I want. All in all, a pretty miraculous piece of machinery.

I've been working hard recently to get it into the shape that I'd like and while the journey has been frustrating at times, I have learned to see so much more than the number on the scale. I have learned that any body that is given the chance to breathe in and out all day long is enough. Being alive and healthy is enough. Watching my kids is enough. Like everything else in life, it's the journey that's important.

As I rush each day to read the words of a most amazing sister, I am reminded of a sweet body in Mesa that is in constant battle to just stay here. To take her journey. To watch her kids. To enjoy what she has been given regardless of the packaging. Her will and determination has shown me how foolish I've been.

This body is good. It is clean and pure and of a divine nature. It affords me every opportunity and promises me my very own life. My very own journey, whatever that may be. And that, my friends, is more than enough.