The Reason Behind All Of This

Yeseterday was a rough day at the high school.

Not because the kids weren't good; they were great. I'm sort of going to miss this randy group of freshman since we've spent 7 days together here in the trenches. They're a good group of kids, for the most part, and they've made me not fear my own kids going to high school as much. And they've been sweet to me, partially because I'm married to one of the favorite teachers here at PHS, partially because my brother-in-law is also here and completely loved by the students, and partially because I'm an awesome sub. Really, I am.

No, yesterday was a rough day because I was bored out of my mind. The kind of bored that seeps into your pores and leaves you wishing for something, anything to do. Scrubing the grout in my kitchen tile? Sure. Matching mis-matched socks? Alrighty. Watching Dora with Austin for the 27 millonth time? A pleasure.

So I had a lot of time on my hands after I finished my amazing book and surfed as much of the internets as the Pasco School District will allow. Most the sites I frequent are blocked, not because I'm pervy but because high school kids are and will make something out of nothing. Luckily, Google Reader is not one of those sites and I jumped from blog to blog to blog. Some were about home renovating and DIY projects which were fascinating. Some were about cooking and recipe sharing. But most were about moms. Moms and babies. Moms and their spouses. Moms doing what moms do; loving their lives, fighting for what's right, trying to mold their children into the kind of people we need. Moms being moms.

And I started to think about why so many women turn to their blog throughout the day to write. Write about what matters, write about what's happening, write about what they fear/love/cherish/made/know etc. Because even though the stories are different, we all turn to this forum for the very same reason.

To. Be. Heard.

I think, for the stay-at-home-mom in particular, the need to be heard is tremendous. A big old need that reads like a neon sign above our heads, flashing for all to seee that says "Notice me! Pay Attention to Me! Validate Me!" Because so much of what we do, we do behind closed doors. Not behind those closed doors, but within the walls of our homes, where very few see the work we do. And while the job is as rewarding as all get out, it can be lonely. It can be isolating. It can feel like no one sees what we accomplish, the love we have for our wifehood/motherhood/sisterhood. The small things that we do all day everyday often go unnoticed but they are the very things that will raise a generation of good people who will carry forth the work of the world. That's what we're doing. In our own small ways, behind closed doors, where no one reallys sees, we are changing the landscape of the world to come.

And so we turn to the blogosphere to be heard, to record our journey so that we know what we are doing is right. Important. Necessary. Valid. We yearn for comments and a spike in the sitemeter because it tells us someone is reading. Someone, somewhere, is taking the time to read what we think. Someone is silently saying "I hear you. I understand what you're going through. I know what you're doing and why you do it."

And that thing right there? That knowledge that what we write is being read keeps us all coming back. We will show up here during naptime and in between carpools and often with a sleeping babe across our laps to write it all out in hopes of it being read and the imagined high five that comes our way saying "You're doing it! You're doing it right and doing it well!"

So I will keep on reading. I will take the time to cheer you on and hear everything you have to say. Because I know the power that we moms have, not just for our children and families but for each other. I will read and high five and comment because I understand why you need it.

I need it too.