Last night found me hunkered down in my bed wearing a hoodie and fleece pajama pants. And I was shivering like nobodies business. I kept waiting for the warmth of my cozy bed to sink into my bones, the kind of heat that warms you from the inside out but it never happened.
After twenty minutes of the shakes (does that count as weight loss?) I got up and started filling the bathtub. I grabbed my latest book but then opted to keep the lights off and just soak.
I never do that.
Even in the bathtub, where most people seek refuge to relax, I feel like I have to be doing something. Have to produce, have to contribute, have to be earning my keep and contributing to the greater good.
But last night, last night I just soaked. I pondered the things I needed to get done today. I thought about a project I've had brewing in my mind for a few weeks. I thought about the book I had just finished reading. My mind drifted to my kids faces and my husband who was sleeping just outside the bathroom door. I worked really hard to let me mind go and have my body follow, willingly. And slowly, as I forced myself to relax and give in, I felt that heat. The heat that comes from the inside and warms you all the way through. My house was quiet, my loved ones safe and tucked in and my body & mind free from stress and worry. It was delightful.
When I made my way back to bed, I took a moment to take in the stillness of my home. The stress and the worry don't have a place here in the middle of all this goodness. How silly that it took a late night soak to figure that out.
Post edit: Is that picture too booby? It's not me, rest assured, but I thought it totally captured how I felt last night. But y'all aren't commenting and I thought maybe it was because there was too much boobage in your face. Just sayin.