The last two days have kicked my trash.
Monday and Tuesday have been the school-yard bullies of my week and man, they've been relentless.
I started my fourth week of full time work, solidly proving that I am meant to be a stay-at-home mom.
And then my Austin split his perfect Austin forehead on the tailgate of a neighbors truck and the blood and chaos that ensued hammered me. His sweet face literally gushing blood; me screaming for my mother to get my van; running faster than ever before to get to my man; Hannah scared to death at the sight of her baby brother covered in blood. Waiting in the ER. A slice into his forehead that went clear to the bone. Internal and external stitches done to the sound of my babe screaming, telling me over and over "it's super scary mama!"
My heart breaking.
I'm the idiot who let him on his scooter without a helmet.
HUGE mother fail.
Then today, after a sleepless night of worry, up and down checking on Austin, I took Spence to the orthodontist where he, wait for it, swallowed a metal pole. Like an inch and a half long metal pole that is supposed to be attached to his Herbst at the moment instead of swimming in his intestines. At least that's where we hope it is. His amazing orthodontist insisted on an x-ray to be sure it was swallowed and not inhaled. An x-ray that is to be billed to his office. An orthodontist who literally stopped his day to attend to Spence, calling my cell phone for updates and making sure all was well. If you're local and jacked teeth run in your family, you must go see him. I've never had better patient care. EVER.
But between the blood and the stitches and the x-ray, I have ended up battered and bruised. The marks of worry and guilt have taken over and I feel every bit of being the mother of four. I'm exhausted, physically and emotionally and can't wait for the calm weekend ahead. Saturday and Sunday, I'm talking to you: you're going to be chill, right?
The last two days could have been so much worse. I totally get that. But my little brood of six could use a break. Especially the Mama.
And the Austin.
And the Spence.