If Bad Cholesterol Doesn't Get You, Your Local Public Library Will

At the beginning of the summer, like most over-achieving supermoms, I came up with the idea to create a summer reading program for my kids. I made up a template outlining how many books we had to read and what we'd get once we read them. Completing 25 books got us ice cream, 50 books got us a trip to Chuck E Cheese, and 75 books got us a shopping spree at Barnes & Noble (and by that I mean the chance to pick out one book per kid.) It seemed like such a great idea and I was so excited about. The problem is, I forgot to start.

So yesterday, on the 17th day of July (right on track as usual) I decide to head to my local public library and get crackin. I needed some books for myself and I wanted to get Spencer started on some basic chapter books since he is a reading machine. Once I got there, I remembered that after Hannah played destroy-mommies-purse one day, I would need a new card. I headed to the info desk to get my replacement card and was told it would cost $5. Ok, I thought to myself, no problem. For some reason, the Mid-Columbia Library System demands that you must have a card in hand. They don't believe in that crazy idea of looking your account up with your phone number. It seems like an odd policy to me but whatever. So I apply for my new card and the mullet-wearing man at the counter tells me I have some "fines" from previous checkouts. Ok, I think to myself. No big deal. I kindly ask him how much and he tells me $14.30. WHAT???? Did I accidently check out the original signed copy of the BIBLE and forget to return it????

WHATEVER.

I hand over the $20 it takes to get my account out of hock and head to the shelves. This great idea of mine would have been a whole lot cheaper had I just skipped my reading goals entirely and headed straight to Barnes & Noble.