Nothing too severe, nothing that can't be shaken up to meet my needs but as I've begun the task of readying our kids and this house for back to school, I've found that I'm more rigid than I originally thought.
Who knew?
For instance, when I go to Costco, which is pretty much a weekly occurrence around these parts, I have to park in the same section of the parking lot or I will literally be lost for hours. It doesn't matter if there is a spot right up front; if it's not in "my section" I can't park there. And the fact that I've had my new-to-me van for almost three weeks in all it's bright shiny red glory means nothing as I keep searching for the white van I drove for years. Like I can't reprogram my brain to change. Adapt. Do something new.
It's frustrating.
It's like I get this idea in my head of exactly how something is supposed to be and I can't imagine it being any other way. (Mom & Brad: zip it. I know this is not news to you.) And I'm willing to guess that I'm not the only one that romanticizes things in their pretty little heads. For example, when I say "s'mores after dinner at the fire pit!" I'm picturing my scrubbed clean, shiny children sitting around in the coordinated leisure wear telling stories about how much they love each other. But what I get is Austin running around naked and Sienna having marshmallow plastered to her hair, stuck to her cheek while everyone is tattling on one another.
Are you feeling me on this?
My latest romanticized endeavor that is sure to fall short? I've been planning my back-to-school feast menu for the past several days, perusing everything I've pinned to find just the right thing. It has to be formal enough to feel different but not too formal. It has to be the right combo of succulent and sweet, creamy and tender. It has to feel special, be special, taste special.
Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe it can just be me in the kitchen, laughing with my kids as they set the table and I pull something together that's yummy to everyone. Maybe it doesn't have to cost a fortune or stress me out. Maybe we can start the year off feeling calm, unnerved and full of the memories of the amazing summer we've just had. Maybe it's not about the food that I serve but the heart in which I serve it. And maybe it will teach my kids just what they need to learn as they start this year off.
Change. Adapt. Do something new.
I think I like it.
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"Know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not."
— Valery Satterwhite
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