For the time being, I've hung up my trusty stay-at-home mom hat and have eased my way into a working-mama model. I've done this before and we all managed to survive but I'm feeling like the lessons to be learned here are for me and for me alone.
Lessons like KEEP YOUR COOL. Don't lose your temper and yell at your Squish because she is so busy being 7 and you've lost sight of what that means.
And REMEMBER THAT EVERYTHING ELSE CAN WAIT. YOUR KIDS CAN'T. In the witching hour of afternoons where homework meets breakfast kitchen cleanup meets dinner prep, slow down and look at your children. Determine what they need and then give it freely. It's usually a snuggle on the couch or a conversation at the table. The dishes will wait. You can throw something in the microwave for dinner. But the one-on-one time with your kids after their school day has ended is a crucial and necessary step to their well being. And yours.
And REMEMBER THAT EVERYTHING ELSE CAN WAIT. YOUR KIDS CAN'T. In the witching hour of afternoons where homework meets breakfast kitchen cleanup meets dinner prep, slow down and look at your children. Determine what they need and then give it freely. It's usually a snuggle on the couch or a conversation at the table. The dishes will wait. You can throw something in the microwave for dinner. But the one-on-one time with your kids after their school day has ended is a crucial and necessary step to their well being. And yours.
And don't forget to BE THE MAMA THEIR USED TO. Remember, the crazy that this gig has caused in your life is nothing compared to what it's done to theirs so be predictable. React as usual. Show them that they are worth accountability and stability.
And my personal favorite DON'T MAKE EXCUSES. Yes, you are tired. Yes, you are sleep-deprived. Yes, you are trying to be everything to everyone with the added bonus of a nine to five but YOU chose this so buck up and get it done. There is no excuse for your short temper. Or your desire to do nothing in the evening but curl up with the book you're reading. They still need you to be YOU so put a smile on your face and give them that.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to see both sides. I'm lucky to be able to chose when I work and for how long. I know that it's a luxury not afforded to everyone. I'm grateful to be gainfully employed and the mother that I've always wanted to be.
SAHM meet Working Mama. Get comfortable with each other and figure it out. There's work to be done that only you can do.
3 comments:
Even as my boys get older, I still struggle with this... They will only be here at home for a few more years, so I need to put the dishes down and plop myself down next to them and talk, and just soak them in. Thanks for the reminder!
We all need this reminder, working mom or stay at home mom alike. You balance so well! I know your adjustment period will be fleeting and you will just keep on keeping on as the rockstar mom you are!!
I love this. I was in the midst of getting my house ready to list and feeling kind of grumpy. Ok, a lot grumpy, and Nora, who is 4, came to me with a paper with a ton of scribbles on it. It was her map of our house that she wanted to show me. The words, "I don't have time right now!" were literally on the tip of my tongue and I instantly thought of this post, and stopped myself and realized, she just wanted my attention. So I sat with her for ten minutes and she showed me every place on the map. I almost started crying when I realized I could have missed it. It was so sweet, and she was so happy, and I still got everything done. And I got to hold her and cuddle her the whole time, which doesn't happen as often anymore cuz she's too busy. She will give me a quick hug and kiss and then run off to play. So I was really grateful you wrote this, and that I stopped and listened. It was a really great moment for me as a mom. Love you Karen!
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